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Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in Im just trying to get it out of my head's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, May 29th, 2007
10:53 pm
Little girl outside
Rustling my trees
Rattling my window
Sobbing against my wall
Like she lost her mama
I open the window
Let her in
And she drapes my hair
With my lace sheers
Caressing my cheek
In gratitude
Cats dance
With the crazy-girl
Chasing her shadow
Cross the ceiling
She rushes down the hall
To the out-door
Leaving spring grass scent behind
Sunday, March 4th, 2007
10:13 pm

Rub me with woad
Paint my breasts
A dark'ning mountain hue
Then round my neck
That pearlest pendant of the night
I ask just once to glow
With radiance such as she
Pale skin does grave injustice
To her luminosity

Take me by the hand
Through these bare trees
Join me cold upon the ground
Let my naked skin reflect her light
Cover me
Be my darkness
Love me
And let the moon watch.



10:09 pm
Marvelous beast

Speak to her of romance
And she'll throw you to the ground
For this is no gentle creature of the twilight
Feel the venom in her fang
As sarcasm nicks your throat
And marvel that such beauty
Bears raw poison

Flattering conversation
Cannot hold the patent glare
Disdain drips free
Upon your sodden heart
Value your life?
Then turn and run as
The wildcat screams
Tear your saddened eyes
From her magnificence

Hold the creature at arms length
As you speak inconsequence
Gentle sensate stimulation
Must be your tack
Tweak each sense in turn
Watch fine nostrils flare
As scent is caught upon the air
Smile as pupil dilates - Look away!
Restrain yourself as lids drop
Watch the creature grow relaxed
As she tastes the liquor
Glossing her verdant lip

Instinct will tell you
The time is right
To taste her ear
She will not fight
But act on impulse
Give no pause
At any sign of weakness
She'll take flight

Marvel as you taste her
Make your pleasure heard
And leave no doubt
Inside the wanton's mind
Cast yourself with sweet abandon
On the silken warmth beneath you
And discover greater treasure
Than you ever hoped to find

As her heart crawls out
And curls up in your hand

10:08 pm
World Weary
How many times
Will I weary
Of this game?
How many times
Will I groan inward
As futility
Fills my soul?
Nothing I say
Nothing I do
Sparks the love light
In your eyes.
When will I stop
Throwing my sweetness
To the dogs
That consume your spirit?
I beg you
Take this hope from me
I'm tired to death
Of being unloved.
10:06 pm
My brain is tightening
pressing against its own mass
Full of thoughts that
I refuse to think
Nudging one tender bone in my sinus
A little too far to the left
My dry eyes burn
From lack of tears
I have no reason to cry
Therefore I will refrain from doing so
"I'm doing great!"
Has developed the hollow ring
Of a shrill voice in an empty warehouse

But I will not cave
Because I am right
And right is better

10:05 pm
Do we really know what another deserves?
Can we truly judge?

She could be working out
The sins of a past life
Perhaps she was a polygamist
Maybe she broke so many hearts
That seven men wept
a jilted mate's tears
Over her grave
Perhaps the winsome soul
shining from her eyes
made a man forget his very name

He may have been
a rounder
Who never cared one whit
About the souls he stole away
With a lingering glance
Or a secret kiss.

But maybe fate is crueler still
Perhaps karma has given her
Those same shining eyes
Destined this time
To never meet their mate

Perhaps the gods saw fit
To grace him with that same
Soul-searing kiss
That broke a thousand hearts
Only to let a careless harlot
Crush his soul

Perhaps this round of the wheel
His only lesson will be
Don't let laziness
Steal your happiness away
Don't let your indecision
Force your true love
Out the door.

Maybe the only thing
She needs to learn in this life
Is mind your greedy manners
take what is graciously offered to you
and leave the rest for someone else.
10:04 pm
My Goddess

The goddess Eire
Gave birth in a rush
Of hungry poor
They scattered
Drifting and settling
Into mountains 
That reminded them
Of Her.

They multiplied 
As they crawled 
In the darkness of 
Their new mother's belly
Chipping away
At the heart 
Of their new home. 

She is goddess in her own right.
This daughter of Eire
Lies curled protectively
Around her children
Holding their hearts fast
In the deep folds 
Of her ancient hills.

Her sensuous curves
Invite her lover
Down the highway
Coaxing him to gaze upon 
Her fullness.
Her lush green-ness
Her fragrance of birch and pine
And sun-warmed loam
Tantalizes him.

Her gently rounded hills
Hold white clapboard 
Sweet and peaceful. 
This pocket hides
A graying barn, 
slouched against 
A mounded blanket 
Kicked aside by
An over-amorous lover.

The quiet peace
Of the valley
Is her breath 
Against his neck.
What does she whisper 
In his ear 
As he cruises 
Down the highway?

If you must leave
Go on
I'll hold your heart for you
Here in this pocket
My Kanawha made for me.
It will be safe
And when you want it
You can come back
And get it.

9:57 pm
Soul Seek?
Her soul lies hidden 
crouching on her pelvic floor 
making itself small and smaller
searching wide-eyed for Something.tm

It hides 
longing to be ignored
passed over
by tidal waves of emotion 
raging through her mind. 
Shivering in fear 
ducking its head 
as another shard of heart 
comes crashing down. 

It hides 
all the while 
aching to be spotted
its beauty discovered 
as large clumsy hands 
gently reach forward 
cradling it tenderly 
in a roughened palm 
softly stroking 
quaking flesh 
as a warm dark voice 
whispers gentle nothings 
to coax the fear away. 

Until that warm hand 
slides across full rounded flesh 
fingers tracing 
the taut muscles 
that hold her upright 
as warm full lips 
slide across her own 
meeting her searching kiss 

Until talented tongue 
beckons 'come hither'.

For the kiss coaxes her soul
to reach up 
from its hiding place
extending willing arms
around a ruddy neck
fingers wandering lost
along the ridge
until her soul
skips gaily away
dragging a ravaged heart behind.
9:56 pm
How do you explain
why silence eats your soul?
How do you explain
months of nothingness
spam in email
a phone that never rings
memorizing the pattern 
of threads in the sofa
In order to avert your eyes
from the emptiness of the room?

How do you forgive

How do you forgive
dangling relationship participles?
9:53 pm

The full moon
called to me tonight
Bidding me dance
In the cold damp air.
I longed to answer
To shed my skin
To run
and scream
and jump
My heart was pounding
With the joy of her light.
And aching with
Unanswered desire.


9:52 pm
I've never been the type
To rush through life.
I love to savor the little things
I don't mind traffic jams
Although I hate to wait on other things.

Still, my life has hurried past
I am astonished
When I consider
How much I've lived -
And how little.

I cannot ponder too long
On the life that I have known
The pain glares
And fills my eyes with tears.
Every joy is tempered
By the hollowness of the victory
Some joys are obliterated

Is it any wonder
I seek numbness?
Is it so surprising
That I'm so disappointed?
Not to me.

If you can take joy
In the birth of your child
Without feeling the pain
Of your solitude
Without growing angry
At your resulting dependence;
If you can take joy
From the memory of a beloved pet
Without feeling anger
Toward those who took her from you;
If you can take joy
From the memory
Of time with a loved one
Without hating him
For leaving you;
If you can love your God
Without growing resentful
For the life He's given you;

Give thanks.
We are not all so fortunate.

9:51 pm

My spirit shouted

I'm a wild thing! Untamed! An exotic goddess!

"Hush," I said.
And slipped into soft baggy pants.

The child-inside struggled, twisting away and shaking her head
Refusing to eat her vegetables.

"Hush," I said.
And baked a potato.

My heart cried out

My joie de vivre! My exhilaration! That thrill! I miss that thrill and anticipation that comes from new lust, from stolen encounters, that comes from the surprise of attention.
Where is it? Who will question me? Who longs to know this heart?

"Hush," I said. 
And pinned my hair up, settling onto the sofa to peruse the newspaper.

My soul sobbed

Is it over? Is that all? But won't it come again?

"Hush," I said.
And cried myself to sleep.

9:50 pm
Celtic Goddess
     who needs her roots touched up
Green and cream and autumn auburn
     with flecks of gold
Beams like the October sun
     as she bounces down the hall
She plots her witchcraft
Cast on unsuspecting souls
One shivers in anticipation
Pondering the meaning behind a simple invitation
One sits pompous, unknowing
Unaware that she plots revenge
Certain that his high tower is impenetrable
By the scent of rancid pork
This is a good day to be a goddess.
9:48 pm
The Prophecy

The goddess rises from the ashes of her destruction
Flaming hair and eyes as deep as warm primordial seas
Offering gentle aggression in tender hands
Tiny, dimpled, damp with honeyed sweetness
Ample generosity in abundance
Every trait your heart desires present to give comfort
Repeated worship at the altar of her creamy thighs
Does nothing to penetrate the darkness of her soul
None are willing to unleash the creature within
They fear the demon
While those who recognize the cherub caged inside
Stand silent, for that goddess asks too much.
9:45 pm
Love haiku

too much space inside
press close, squeeze tight overload
love surrounding me

fill this space for me
end my tears, quiet my heartache
woo me with laughter
9:43 pm

I stand back and look
Long dark curls
Green eyes?
Yes, sometimes.
They ignite with a sweep.
Try me
Hold a match in your teeth at 30 feet.
Lips that suggest with the slightest curve
Speak silent volumes of eroticism.
A slow easy smile
Great tits (I’ve heard THAT enough)
Quick wit - too quick - I can’t let a tease pass
Sweet-tea words soothe
Vinegar words burn and come all too frequently
That’s me.
Old men and old women
Look at me, they shake their heads and say
"If you had been born 30 years earlier"
"I don’t know what’s wrong with men today"
I smile.
"I don’t either"
As I walk away.
But a little chunky monkey
Will make it all better.

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